Merry 1st Christmas, Max!

Max has certainly been enjoying the spoils of the day. Here he is on his brand new pony from Grandpa and Sue. Let's hope there isn't a red ryder bb gun to go with it next year. Ride 'em, cowboy!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Off The Charts

I've long hoped my son would be an overachiever. I didn't necessarily have his growth chart in mind but that will do. At Max's ped appointment today he charted out in the 90th percentile for weight and head circumfrence. He was "off the chart" for height.

She also noted that he's such a strong, active boy that she wouldn't be surprised to find him crawling at 6 months. I'm not sure whether this is good news or bad news. I clearly remember when Sydney learned to crawl. She always wanted down to crawl in the dirtiest of locations and would scream if her demands weren't met. Can't he just go straight to walking? It would be so much more sanitary! ;-)

4 Months: Age of the Live Wire

Max turned 4 months old this past Sunday and with that it seems, he has transitioned into a mexican jumping bean. Where a few weeks ago he would quietly knead the tablecloth in front of him, he now pulls the entire cloth on to his lap. When I lay him in his crib he quickly flips himself over in frustration and then becomes further enraged as he mauls the mattress with his slobbery face. During play time his arms and legs pump wildly like he's in an invisible johnny jump up. As he eats he's fascinated by sights behind him...in front of him...to his right...back behind in....no, in front....oh, no definitely to his left.....all this with a particularly sensitive part of my anatomy clenched between his lips. I didn't know it could stretch that far....and I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to.

We've got a live one!

The Golden Rule

Most of you who know me are aware of the golden rule in my household..."Never leave Alex home alone!" There is a long history behind this one. I've come home to missing walls, missing bathrooms, new arcade games...the list goes on and is frankly too painful to fully relive. Bless his dear heart, he always means well. It's just that his enthusiasm sometimes gets ahead of his ability to reason.

When I was on maternity leave I had the good fortune to be at home on watch and had nearly forgotten the danger. My first week back at work Alex ended up with a day off so that he could meet up with some contractors here at the house. I came home and discovered that our internet and cable had been shut off effective immediately and that we were the proud owners of a new ladder.

It took Alex less than 24 hours to realize that ending the internet access was a mistake. The cable we could live without. The ladder? Still a mystery to me. After several phone calls he did end up getting us a better monthly internet rate and we were reconnected...a week later.

Point being, that is where I have been. It wasn't that the first week back was so traumatic. Max has adjusted quite well. He loves playing with his cousin Sydney who can get a smile out of him with very little effort. I love that Mom is the nap inducing champion and gets 3 solid naps out of him a day. 2 weeks, 6 work days, 1 shiny new ladder....and the transition back to work is complete.

Where Archaeologists Never Venture...

My husband loves a good shower. In fact he usually takes 2 a day. Sometimes more. I think it has something to do with being in the Navy since I've never known men who like to shower as much as Navy veterans do. I suppose living on a ship largely populated by men, I'd never feel clean either. Can you imagine?

Point being Alex likes to be clean and he likes a clean son as well. Fortunately Max is always up for a bath. Loves them! Alex and I tag team him and have a complete system worked out about who scrubs where. This is why it surprised me when Max started stinking a bit. When I'd nuzzle his face, I'd occasionally notice the stink of sour milk. His fresh spit up couldn't smell that bad, could it? In fact, no.

Several days later Max and I were enjoying a tummy time session. He had his neck arched up in an atypical position and I noticed a red mark. What is that? I looked closer and realized that it was raw skin. Upon closer inspection I found a small amount of white curdish material. Oh my, it appeared Max was attempting to colonize his own cottage cheese in his deepest neck fold. I swear I wipe his neck on a regular basis but apparently his neck folds are a bit more cavernous than they appear. Alas, a through neck cleansing has now become a part of our morning ritual. At least until I have need of yeast for a bread starter. I have the perfect spot for that!

Last Week of Leave (Sniff, Sniff)

The day that seemed so, so far away back in August is quickly approaching. The end of my maternity leave! It's with mixed emotion that I enter this last week. I have the advantage of working with a great group of people, returning part-time, daycare by my mom, and...let's face it...a little break from the 24/7 that is motherhood. Then again, I'd leap at the chance to stay at home until Max is in school. Alex did offer this as an option if I wanted to move to Bandon but somehow that didn't hold the allure that he thought it might.

In a rare stroke of genius I planned several appointments for myself this week to make the transition easier. Thursday I'm having my hair cut and highlighted. I'm thinking of highlights in the red family. Perhaps something coppery? Maybe I can just bring Sydney in and ask for Dena to copy her color? Friday I have a massage (thanks Barbie and Dawn!) and a pedi/facial appointment. The pedi/facial appointment is at the Nail Sanctuary which I highly recommend to those of you in the Portland area. I love that it's a private salon where you receive one-on-one services. The wait list is quite long however. I made this appointment a few weeks before Max was born and it was one of her first available.

Now when I go back to work if I start sniffling when I'm missing Max, at least I'll look fabulous doing it. Perhaps nobody will even notice since they'll be entranced by my highlights?

Happy Thanksgiving!

As Promised...

Max and cousin Mina

Sleep Story # 1,689

Alex and I took Max to Bandon for a 4 day weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family. We had a lovely time and were able to meet our niece, Mina, for the first time. She's just 2 months older than Max. I'll post one of the pictures we took as soon as I find the cord to sync up the camera and PC. Don't hold your breath on that one.

Anyhow, we decided this disruption in his sleep location would be the perfect time to switch Max over to his crib in is room. He's been sleeping in a Pack N Play in our bedroom since the day we came home. However his night rumblings and recent napping success convinced me that it was time to make the move. I've heard too many horror stories of moving babies to their beds at a later age.

The day we returned I set up his Pack N Play in his bedroom to ease the transition. I was a tad sentimental thinking about the move. I have so many memories of Max and I camped out in the bedroom those first few weeks. He's not my newborn anymore! Max apparently experienced none of those misgivings and slept his typical schedule in his new location. The next night I moved him into his crib. Once again he slept like a champ. This time he actually skipped his 6:30 feeding although I did hear him moving around. He was kind enough to go back to sleep. Thanks, Max!

So it is done. Max has stretched the invisible umbilical cord another 20 feet and is in his own room. Now if only I could figure out how to keep Cleo from banging on Max's door at 5 in the morning. Anyone know any good cat recipes?

My Son is a Napping Genius!

Over the past few weeks I've become paranoid thanks to all the books that say I need to teach Max to fall asleep on his own. They paint these lovely pictures of a mother telling her baby, "It's time to sleep now", laying the baby down and it magically falls asleep. If the baby cries? You pat it's chest until it calms and then step away. Still crying? You can pick it up but put baby down as soon as it is calm again. Lovely in theory and I'm certain there are babies out there that follow this but my son is not one of them.

I've reserved and read nearly every sleep book that the library offers hoping to get a handle on when this vision is truly realistic and how I go about dealing with my cuddler of a son. Remember this is the boy that I can't even get to sleep on his own during the day. He thinks it's perfectly appropriate that I should carry his 14+ pound self around all day. The only way he naps on his own is if I feed him side-lying in bed for 45 minutes. Who knew that such a thing could be called a "sleep association" that I must end so that he doesn't think that the only way to fall asleep is with a breast in his face. (I'm certain many men still aspire to this)

Certainly I've been taking all this with a grain of salt and processing the advice to come up with my own theories and approach. Yes, I would love to be able to set my son in his crib and have him drift off to sleep. A fabulous first step would be to get him to nap in his own bed at all! So I've been toying with each of the approaches over the past few days. Nothing appeared to be working but today is my day! Max, my genius son, has taken 3 naps in his pack n play. On top of that, he actually fell asleep there! I'm so excited I could burst!

No, it wasn't the lovely scene painted in the first paragraph. It usually involves about 5 minutes of crying but he's making the connection. Each nap today was a progressively smoother process.

Best of all...Alex and I are going out to dinner so I have the time to go pick out some clothes to change into. I won't have to wear my vomit crusted ones! Oh, it's going to be a hot night tonight! ;-)

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

As Prescribed by Stefanie

I was inspired by Stefanie's blog entry from 10/23. She made a vow to take it easier on herself in her free time, slow down, and enjoy a bit of self prescribed bed rest. Simple yet genius! Stefanie is of course well deserving of this is as she is a mother of 2 young girls with a third on the way.

It was divine timing that I read this entry. Alex put Max down for a nap about an hour ago. As soon as he took over I began running around the house folding laundry, sorting Max's stored clothing, washing bottles, etc. Subconsciously I am well aware that this is a lame use of "free" time. Yet I can't deny how much better I feel when everything is back in order and I am ready to go another round.

As I was putting away Max's clothes I thought, "Okay, I'll run down and check e-mail. Then I'll run back upstairs and pump so that we have some breast milk on hand." My mind is constantly running through a prioritized to do list. After reading Stefanie's entry I've decided the pumping can wait. It is a gorgeous fall day outside. Maybe I'll go walk around a few blocks by myself, breathe a little deeper, and enjoy true free time. Thanks, Stefanie!

Infant Massage Ruined My Day!

I signed up for an infant massage class for Max and I weeks if not months before he was born. It's an hour and a half class held 4 Wednesdays in a row. Originally the start time was 10:30 but I received a call a few weeks ago that the time had been changed to 1:30. Fine, whatever. However the past 2 days in a row Max has taken a 3 hour nap that begins at 1:30. Oooooo, what to do? Well, I really wanted to try the class so I let him nap from 9:30 to noon and hoped for the best.

Arriving at the hospital, parking was terrible. We finally found a spot after circling for 10 minutes. I reached into the back seat only to realize that I hadn't ever buckled Max into the car seat. OH NO! Straight out of the Britney Spears School of Mothering! Clearly I won't be winning any Mother of the Year awards. I'm hoping that is the first and last time that happens.

We quickly found the classroom and got cozy on a mat. In the beginning Max was smiling at me and content to be there. The instructor had us give lengthy introductions followed by a Q&A session. Max agreed that the introductions were lame and displayed his displeasure through a series of gas and poo expulsions. You tell 'em, kiddo! I spared my neighbors by performing the diaper change on the outskirts of the circle.

By this point Max's mood was deteriorating and I was starting to get a little ancy about getting this show on the road. He did fairly well through the massage but by the end he was ready to let loose. Poor kid was so tired! The instructor put on an 8 minute video to end the class and my sweet son decided enough was enough and let loose in a bellowing rage.

I pulled out the magic Bjorn and loaded up Max and our belongings. Sure enough, as soon as I stood and walked about 10 feet, Max stopped crying and was suddenly calm as can be. I could just hear him thinking, "Now that's much better. Why didn't you listen to me earlier?"

There wasn't a peep out of him as we made our way to the car. I loaded him in and he let loose for 2-3 minutes before falling asleep. On the way home I decided I needed chocolate. I went through the DQ drive thru and bought a chocolate-chocolate dipped cone.

My dilemma now is whether to attend the next 3 infant massage classes. We paid ahead but it wasn't very pricey. Also, this class conflicts with the mother's group I attend at another hospital. I'm tempted to ditch the remaining 3 classes and attend the other mother's group instead. Less stress for Max and I. Any thoughts?

Social Butterflies

Today Max and I attended the kick-off of the neighborhood playgroup for babies born in '07. There were 3 other moms, all with older babies so I was able to pick their brains and ask them all the bizarre questions I come up with. I'm excited that they're all very cool. You never know what you're going to get. Would I walk into a den of earth mothers who all practiced diaperless mothering? Would they gasp in horror when I pulled out Max's bottle? It's breastmilk I swear! Fortunately they're all as normal as I am which granted isn't saying much.

As I was writing down our next playgroup date I realized Max and I have a social event of some sort every single day through next Sunday. I promise I'm not dragging Max all over town. It's lunch one day, infant massage day another, Monster March on another. I realized, you know what? I'm having the time of my life. This is so stinkin' fabulous that Max and I get to spend every day together doing whatever we feel like. It was a great realization that I've gotten well past the my-newborn-is-holding-me-hostage stage. However it was also sad thinking ahead to December when I have to go back to work. It will be so bittersweet to sit at my computer and think back to all the fun we had together when I was on leave. Unless we win the lottery there isn't much to be done to change that so I decided to make something positive out of it and be thankful for every remaining day of leave I have. Max and I are going to paint the town red!

P.S. This mother's group quote has had me cracking up all day yesterday. It came out of a discussion of setting limits with your in laws. "I can't let them change him. They don't know the routine. I have to blowdry my son's testicles every diaper change or he'll get a rash!" Trust me, she was laughing with us but that's hilarious!

Nap Voodoo Continues

Oh the elaborate nap inducing rituals continue in our home. This is a good one though! The latest and greatest is that I swaddle him and feed him as normal (i.e. My Brest Friend) on the first side. He's usually dozing off at this point. Then for the second side I lay him on the bed and do the side-lying position. He knocks out and I bait and switch with the binky as needed. After 10 minutes or so I am able to get up....BY MYSELF!

I'm telling you, this seems to be it for us. He loves that he doesn't have to be moved and is snuggly warm in his swaddle blanket. I love it because I'm standing up....BY MYSELF!

We only do this for one nap a day so far. I do still think the snuggly nap(s) on my chest is beneficial for both of us....especially when I know that I have my new technique in my back pocket.

Mother's Groups: Not Just for Nerds

Admittedly there is a long list of items that, in my pre-parent mind, I thought I would never succumb to. One of those would be mother's groups or playgroups. I could see the value in them but really they were just a little too nerdy for me. I have plenty of friends and family nearby, many with children, so what use would I have for one of those?

Fast forward into my 9th week of parenthood and I've attended mother's groups at 2 different area hospitals and have signed up for an additional playgroup in my neighborhood. Why the change of heart? I liken it to being a veteran of war. Nobody can relate to what you're experiencing like another veteran and soldiers currently in battle are even better. Or, as the mom's group facilitator put it yesterday, "It's like trying to describe having sex. You can come up with the words but does that really share what the experience was like?" A little racy but she has a point.

I also go to the group for inspiration. I will admit that I feel a sense of relief when I see the babies younger than Max and think, "Ha, at least I'm through that stage." I feel excitement and anticipation looking at the babies that are older. They lay contentedly on their blankets playing with toys and smiling at will. Soon enough!

P.S. Max slept for a 6 and a half hour stretch last night. Hooray!

Land of Compromise

Sigh! So perhaps the swaddling alone wasn't the complete solution. In addition to being swaddled, Max also requires that once he is laid down we must put a bottle in his mouth for 2-3 minutes. Once he appears sufficiently asleep, we then quickly switch out the bottle for the binky. Then we hover nearby hoping that when the binky falls out it doesn't disturb him enough to wake him. Sound familiar to anyone?

It does work very well but now I'm going to have to add mandatory pumping into my schedule so that there is milk available for this bait and switch. I'm already dealing with enough mother's guilt for the 4 oz. formula bottle he receives from Alex every night.

With Max attached to my chest I was finding it difficult to pump. Although I suppose if this new technique works and Max will now nap alone I will have the chest availability to pump 1-2 times a day.

Which reminds me...a few weeks ago Alex asked me to take a picture of him feeding Max so that he would have evidence that he fed and cared for him when he was a baby. I'm not sure if this will go to trial at some point or if he fears that I will deny his assistance? Must have something to do with his dad not helping out with baby care. Well, for the record Alex does a fabulous job of caring for our son....bottles, diapers, baby talk, you name it. Please refer to Exhibit A above.

Behold the Miracle of Swaddle

Yesterday I sent out an APB seeking advice from my mommy friends and family. My son is a snuggler and loves to nap on me during the day. We frequently go for Bjorn walks during the day. Max is quick to fall asleep and stay that way for hours at a time. It's sweeter than words can describe to look down at him snuggled against my chest in a state of bliss.

Sweet that is until you realize that he won't allow you to put him down. I'm pretty sure I delivered Max 7 weeks ago but it was starting to feel like he'd moved back in...all 12 and a half pounds of him. (Holla to Becca who carried twins who likely weighed that much or more at the end.)

My mom friends were quick to respond with advice and ideas. Surprisingly there was a general consensus amongst the responses. Here is what I learned....

1) Babies are either snugglers or not. Clearly Max is a snuggler.

2) Over time all snugglers will mature to a state where they don't need to snuggle with you anymore. Patti promised me that I wouldn't have to attend preschool with him in a Bjorn.

3) Not a good idea to let them cry it out at this point. He's much too young.

4) Swaddling, smooshing and stomach sleeping (if you dare) are all top solutions.

We already swaddle Max at night but I feared that if I did this during the day he might confuse his day sleep with his night sleep. I was reluctant to risk this since he does so well at night. However given the advice of many we decided to risk it and...go figure...that was it. Today he napped all of his naps unattached to me. He may not have slept as long or as hard but sleep he did.

Thanks to all the moms who e-mailed back with your sage advice. I love you all! XOXO

Nose to Nose

Before Max was born I never thought I'd be interested in co-sleeping. The Pack n Play in the corner of our bedroom looked perfectly fine to me. Why would he need to share a bed with us? Sure with breastfeeding I'd need him nearby but in the same bed? Nah!

For the most part, we've stuck with that approach. Max sleeps 90% of the night in his Pack n Play and seems perfectly content. We've been blessed with a child who has a solid understanding of days vs. nights and knocks back out after each of his 2-3 nightly feedings.

Recently, however, I've started taking Max to bed with me after Alex leaves for work. I wouldn't say that he sleeps better but it's a really great opportunity for bonding. Although his newborn movements tend to be uncoordinated at best, somehow he always seems to find a way to wiggle his body closer to my head. In his sleep no less! It's an indescribable experience to wake up and find he has motioned his body over so that he is nose to nose with me. This morning he took it one step further. I woke up to the feel of him rooting around on my face for a nipple. Apparently he had decided my face nipple must be somewhere in the vicinity of my chin or mouth.

Won't he love that story when he's 15?

This is Motherhood?

I'd like to start out by saying that I've had every good intention of starting this blog many weeks ago. Yes in my pre-partum (is that word?) world I had imagined I would faithfully record my son's every achievement and week by week progress. I find this laughable now that I've become a mother. Unless somebody installed a keyboard into My Brest Friend there is no way that would happen.

Max arrived on Thursday, August 16th by c-section. Like nearly every other first time mom, I never imagined that I would have a c-section. Now that I think about it, nearly everything I anticipated would / would not happened occurred in reverse. I imagined in the later weeks of pregnancy that I'd start dilating, feeling some contractions here and there and would eventually go into labor a few days after my due date and have a successful vaginal delivery. Isn't that the way it goes most of the time? Instead I was closed through 39 weeks, ruptured my membranes 3 days before my due date, couldn't achieve labor even with pitocin and ended up with a c-section.

Am I disappointed? Heck no. I have a beautiful and healthy son. Part of me wishes I could have had that build up and feeling of accomplishment when I pushed him out into the world. The other part of me says, "Are you nuts? They told you at your 39 week ultrasound that he was 9 lbs. 11 oz. You don't push that out of your body...it tears out of your body!"

A secret part of me confesses that I'm glad he never even engaged in my pelvis and I have a decent chance of retaining bladder control into my twilight years. Wa-hoo!

I'm assuming that they'll still give me my Mom Club membership since I'm surviving the newborn stage. I don't think anyone can prepare you for that. Moms will tell you "babies are a lot of work" but notice how they don't make eye contact with you when they do it.

The first 3 weeks were the most work of all. It's overwhelming. At times I felt like Max was holding me hostage in the house. I didn't want to leave because he felt like a ticking time bomb. What if we went to the grocery store and he had a complete meltdown? How can I plan my day if I don't know when or how long he'll nap? Why is he crying? He can't be hungry again can he? I just finished feeding him.

As my friend Patti promised, right around the time he hit 3 weeks it got a lot better. I'm not sure if that's due to my increasing confidence as a mother, Max's systems maturing or some combination therof. Either way we're starting to establish a pattern to our day. I can load him up into the Bjorn and we're off! I'm lucky enough to live in a neighborhood that is packed full of shops, restaurants and parks. It's fun to wander aimlessly and enjoy time with him.

Yes, it has been a bumpy ride these past weeks but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's trite but true. Max is a lot of work but it's an amazing feeling to look at him, even in full bellow mode, and know that I would do anything for him. Can you believe it? I'm a mother!