Happy Halloween, Everyone!

As Prescribed by Stefanie

I was inspired by Stefanie's blog entry from 10/23. She made a vow to take it easier on herself in her free time, slow down, and enjoy a bit of self prescribed bed rest. Simple yet genius! Stefanie is of course well deserving of this is as she is a mother of 2 young girls with a third on the way.

It was divine timing that I read this entry. Alex put Max down for a nap about an hour ago. As soon as he took over I began running around the house folding laundry, sorting Max's stored clothing, washing bottles, etc. Subconsciously I am well aware that this is a lame use of "free" time. Yet I can't deny how much better I feel when everything is back in order and I am ready to go another round.

As I was putting away Max's clothes I thought, "Okay, I'll run down and check e-mail. Then I'll run back upstairs and pump so that we have some breast milk on hand." My mind is constantly running through a prioritized to do list. After reading Stefanie's entry I've decided the pumping can wait. It is a gorgeous fall day outside. Maybe I'll go walk around a few blocks by myself, breathe a little deeper, and enjoy true free time. Thanks, Stefanie!

Infant Massage Ruined My Day!

I signed up for an infant massage class for Max and I weeks if not months before he was born. It's an hour and a half class held 4 Wednesdays in a row. Originally the start time was 10:30 but I received a call a few weeks ago that the time had been changed to 1:30. Fine, whatever. However the past 2 days in a row Max has taken a 3 hour nap that begins at 1:30. Oooooo, what to do? Well, I really wanted to try the class so I let him nap from 9:30 to noon and hoped for the best.

Arriving at the hospital, parking was terrible. We finally found a spot after circling for 10 minutes. I reached into the back seat only to realize that I hadn't ever buckled Max into the car seat. OH NO! Straight out of the Britney Spears School of Mothering! Clearly I won't be winning any Mother of the Year awards. I'm hoping that is the first and last time that happens.

We quickly found the classroom and got cozy on a mat. In the beginning Max was smiling at me and content to be there. The instructor had us give lengthy introductions followed by a Q&A session. Max agreed that the introductions were lame and displayed his displeasure through a series of gas and poo expulsions. You tell 'em, kiddo! I spared my neighbors by performing the diaper change on the outskirts of the circle.

By this point Max's mood was deteriorating and I was starting to get a little ancy about getting this show on the road. He did fairly well through the massage but by the end he was ready to let loose. Poor kid was so tired! The instructor put on an 8 minute video to end the class and my sweet son decided enough was enough and let loose in a bellowing rage.

I pulled out the magic Bjorn and loaded up Max and our belongings. Sure enough, as soon as I stood and walked about 10 feet, Max stopped crying and was suddenly calm as can be. I could just hear him thinking, "Now that's much better. Why didn't you listen to me earlier?"

There wasn't a peep out of him as we made our way to the car. I loaded him in and he let loose for 2-3 minutes before falling asleep. On the way home I decided I needed chocolate. I went through the DQ drive thru and bought a chocolate-chocolate dipped cone.

My dilemma now is whether to attend the next 3 infant massage classes. We paid ahead but it wasn't very pricey. Also, this class conflicts with the mother's group I attend at another hospital. I'm tempted to ditch the remaining 3 classes and attend the other mother's group instead. Less stress for Max and I. Any thoughts?

Social Butterflies

Today Max and I attended the kick-off of the neighborhood playgroup for babies born in '07. There were 3 other moms, all with older babies so I was able to pick their brains and ask them all the bizarre questions I come up with. I'm excited that they're all very cool. You never know what you're going to get. Would I walk into a den of earth mothers who all practiced diaperless mothering? Would they gasp in horror when I pulled out Max's bottle? It's breastmilk I swear! Fortunately they're all as normal as I am which granted isn't saying much.

As I was writing down our next playgroup date I realized Max and I have a social event of some sort every single day through next Sunday. I promise I'm not dragging Max all over town. It's lunch one day, infant massage day another, Monster March on another. I realized, you know what? I'm having the time of my life. This is so stinkin' fabulous that Max and I get to spend every day together doing whatever we feel like. It was a great realization that I've gotten well past the my-newborn-is-holding-me-hostage stage. However it was also sad thinking ahead to December when I have to go back to work. It will be so bittersweet to sit at my computer and think back to all the fun we had together when I was on leave. Unless we win the lottery there isn't much to be done to change that so I decided to make something positive out of it and be thankful for every remaining day of leave I have. Max and I are going to paint the town red!

P.S. This mother's group quote has had me cracking up all day yesterday. It came out of a discussion of setting limits with your in laws. "I can't let them change him. They don't know the routine. I have to blowdry my son's testicles every diaper change or he'll get a rash!" Trust me, she was laughing with us but that's hilarious!

Nap Voodoo Continues

Oh the elaborate nap inducing rituals continue in our home. This is a good one though! The latest and greatest is that I swaddle him and feed him as normal (i.e. My Brest Friend) on the first side. He's usually dozing off at this point. Then for the second side I lay him on the bed and do the side-lying position. He knocks out and I bait and switch with the binky as needed. After 10 minutes or so I am able to get up....BY MYSELF!

I'm telling you, this seems to be it for us. He loves that he doesn't have to be moved and is snuggly warm in his swaddle blanket. I love it because I'm standing up....BY MYSELF!

We only do this for one nap a day so far. I do still think the snuggly nap(s) on my chest is beneficial for both of us....especially when I know that I have my new technique in my back pocket.

Mother's Groups: Not Just for Nerds

Admittedly there is a long list of items that, in my pre-parent mind, I thought I would never succumb to. One of those would be mother's groups or playgroups. I could see the value in them but really they were just a little too nerdy for me. I have plenty of friends and family nearby, many with children, so what use would I have for one of those?

Fast forward into my 9th week of parenthood and I've attended mother's groups at 2 different area hospitals and have signed up for an additional playgroup in my neighborhood. Why the change of heart? I liken it to being a veteran of war. Nobody can relate to what you're experiencing like another veteran and soldiers currently in battle are even better. Or, as the mom's group facilitator put it yesterday, "It's like trying to describe having sex. You can come up with the words but does that really share what the experience was like?" A little racy but she has a point.

I also go to the group for inspiration. I will admit that I feel a sense of relief when I see the babies younger than Max and think, "Ha, at least I'm through that stage." I feel excitement and anticipation looking at the babies that are older. They lay contentedly on their blankets playing with toys and smiling at will. Soon enough!

P.S. Max slept for a 6 and a half hour stretch last night. Hooray!

Land of Compromise

Sigh! So perhaps the swaddling alone wasn't the complete solution. In addition to being swaddled, Max also requires that once he is laid down we must put a bottle in his mouth for 2-3 minutes. Once he appears sufficiently asleep, we then quickly switch out the bottle for the binky. Then we hover nearby hoping that when the binky falls out it doesn't disturb him enough to wake him. Sound familiar to anyone?

It does work very well but now I'm going to have to add mandatory pumping into my schedule so that there is milk available for this bait and switch. I'm already dealing with enough mother's guilt for the 4 oz. formula bottle he receives from Alex every night.

With Max attached to my chest I was finding it difficult to pump. Although I suppose if this new technique works and Max will now nap alone I will have the chest availability to pump 1-2 times a day.

Which reminds me...a few weeks ago Alex asked me to take a picture of him feeding Max so that he would have evidence that he fed and cared for him when he was a baby. I'm not sure if this will go to trial at some point or if he fears that I will deny his assistance? Must have something to do with his dad not helping out with baby care. Well, for the record Alex does a fabulous job of caring for our son....bottles, diapers, baby talk, you name it. Please refer to Exhibit A above.

Behold the Miracle of Swaddle

Yesterday I sent out an APB seeking advice from my mommy friends and family. My son is a snuggler and loves to nap on me during the day. We frequently go for Bjorn walks during the day. Max is quick to fall asleep and stay that way for hours at a time. It's sweeter than words can describe to look down at him snuggled against my chest in a state of bliss.

Sweet that is until you realize that he won't allow you to put him down. I'm pretty sure I delivered Max 7 weeks ago but it was starting to feel like he'd moved back in...all 12 and a half pounds of him. (Holla to Becca who carried twins who likely weighed that much or more at the end.)

My mom friends were quick to respond with advice and ideas. Surprisingly there was a general consensus amongst the responses. Here is what I learned....

1) Babies are either snugglers or not. Clearly Max is a snuggler.

2) Over time all snugglers will mature to a state where they don't need to snuggle with you anymore. Patti promised me that I wouldn't have to attend preschool with him in a Bjorn.

3) Not a good idea to let them cry it out at this point. He's much too young.

4) Swaddling, smooshing and stomach sleeping (if you dare) are all top solutions.

We already swaddle Max at night but I feared that if I did this during the day he might confuse his day sleep with his night sleep. I was reluctant to risk this since he does so well at night. However given the advice of many we decided to risk it and...go figure...that was it. Today he napped all of his naps unattached to me. He may not have slept as long or as hard but sleep he did.

Thanks to all the moms who e-mailed back with your sage advice. I love you all! XOXO